My father worked as a State Government Officer when he retired, my mom was the home maker. We are of four kids including 3 elder sisters and myself the youngest of all. We had grown up in a moderate town in Andhra Pradesh, a Southern state of India. During my education, my parents involvement was eerie but like many others, they were much concerned about the marks, percentages and other behavior aspects of their children. I was able to easily placate them with my distinguished academic progress and with my academic achievements. Now, I am a father of two little daughters aged 8 years and 5 years. Both were born in States and since few years been living here in Bangalore. My wife who did her Masters in Science is a Primary School Teacher. Times are different between me as a kid and me as a parent but core elements of a parenthood still remains same :)-.
Since few months, I been consciously learning informally some while hearing to my wife and some by reading, watching, observing & talking with various kids & their parents within the closed circle of my friends and family. Unlike in other countries in India, education is more competitive and children has to embrace more brazen social and economical barriers in each layer of their studies. Recently few youngsters in my large apartment complex committed suicide that exhorted more bamboozle thoughts about the modern day parents role in their kids education. In all that spurred my thoughts to write this blog.
“The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” There is a good deal of truth in the saying. There is no denying the fact that the parents- play an important role in the education of their children. It has been rightly said that child’s mother is his first teacher, in as much as it is she who lays the foundation of his character and education. Indeed, the early influence of his home, in which that of his parents predominates, are hard to overcome. The impressions gathered in the home in the early years of childhood, therefore, constitute the most permanent and lasting impressions of his life. It is in the home that a child acquires his first experiences. When he learns to speak, he only tries to reproduce what he hears the grown-ups say. He is apt to copy their mannerisms as well. Gradually to their customs and usages. He unconsciously assimilates the attitudes and prejudices of the intimate group of people, making up the family, as also the value and standards set by them. He absorbs the religious traditions of the family he is born into, and as he grows up, he tends to become pious or otherwise, just as he is impressed with the example set by his parents and elders. So the influence of the home or the family cannot but leave an indelible mark on his mind and character. A child is by nature very intuitive, and his character reflects the very atmosphere prevailing in his home.
The most important function of the home or the family consists in providing the affectionate background, which helps promote the emotional development of children and adolescents. Love is an essential food needed for the normal growth and development of a young budding mind. A child’s mind, starved of this essential nourishment can hardly thrive and develop on normal lines. A good school can seldom be a substitute for what a loveless home lacks. However loving and affectionate the teachers may be, they can never be expected to compensate adequately for what a child misses in such a home. So the home is considered to be the chief training-ground of his emotions and consequently of his character. This renders the absolute necessary for the parents to be fully alive to the tremendous responsibility that the proper up bringing of their children entails. Theirs is the responsibility of bringing about the right atmosphere of the home as well as providing a suitably affectionate background for the proper emotional development of their children.
It is such a callous pity that even at the present very few parents prove equal to the task. Very many of them are inclined to think that the education of their children is solely the responsibility of the school.
It is however, needless to add that the parents should be patient, tactful, discreet and cautious in all their dealings with the children. A good many of the former are apt to be over-anxious, over-indulgent, and over-protective. They should bear in mind that too much concern and solicitude for their children are no indications of genuine affection and sympathy.They should not spoil them with over indulgence, which does more harm than good. This is likely to add to their self-importance, and thus make them more fussy.
Children should be encouraged to be as self-reliant as possible from their very childhood.Too lax and too rigid a discipline being equally bad, this will produce the problem child.
The wise parents out to try to be friendly with their children without being too lax or too strict. The children should learn to be free and frank with their parents, from whom they should have no secrets whatever. The parents should also try to command the love and respect of their children. In that case the latter would seldom like to incur the displeasure of the former by doing or saying anything wrong.
In a word, there should be perfect confidence and understanding on both sides.
Father is a source of strength, security, and wisdom to his children, who need his help, guidance and protection. More often father turns out be a more dominant personality in the average Indian Family than the mother! On the other hand, the mother is regarded as the “the ministering angel of the home :)-” who exerts a much more pervasive influence over it, and has a greater hold upon her children than the father. She is the constant, inseparable friend and companion to the child, who can hardly do without her loving care.
It is the duty of the parents to see that their children develop certain good habits from early childhood.The latter should be trained in the habits of neatness, cleanliness, regularity and in punctuality as also in those of self-reliance in the early years of childhood. The necessity and importance of order and discipline should also be impressed upon the parents in and through their day-to-day activities. Certain moral and spiritual values need to be practiced by them and in turn will be inculcated to their children. Parents will be the role model for their children.
The little ones learn courtesy and good manners, too, mainly through the examples set by their parents. Children are not by nature either superstitious or prejudiced against the persons and things. So, attempts should be made to develop in them a good critical judgement and a sense of justice in early childhood.
Today many of the educated parents are generally awakening to the fact that education of the children is the joint responsibility of the home and the school. Teachers can achieve very little without parental cooperation.Today it is the duty and responsibility of the modern day working (over and over) parents and technology dependent life still to see that their child receive an “appropriate” education. Parental co-operation is essential in the matter of medical examination also. They should help teachers and concerned authorities to provide necessary data of pertaining to their children’s health as well as family history if necessary. Hence the need of parent-teachers’ associations, which are still few and far between in our country!
Meenakshi’s First Telugu(South Indian Language) Letter
As my little buds are growing fast to bloom soon into their bespoken life, I hope that we as parents will continue to live as their role models and will give them the best choices to choose within the circumstances that we live!!!
sivaayyala 